The last couple of months God continues to show Himself faithful by pushing me to discover the truth behind the areas of pain in my life. One thing that I love about blogging is that it brings me the ability to put "my story" in word form to capture the season for my heart and then also for me to be able to release whatever negative feelings that experience may have brought me.
Yesterday, I read the post Hillary wrote on her blog
and it inspired me again to fully lay myself down in obedience and to open myself up for whatever God wants for me to do with the crap in the rear view mirror of my life. I know that I have miles to go with understanding who I am and why certain things have happened in my life, but I am on that journey. I also know that the enemy wants to hold me back from talking about the Freedom, the Healing, the Truth that God has brought to me as I've cried out to Him in desperation. He has led me to the right verses, the right people, the right books, the right places for more answers to the knot I need unraveled and for the discoveries He has waiting for me.
I would be viciously lying if I said that I have "arrived" at the whole understanding myself thing, but I certainly have had my eyes opened lately to the fact that everyone is hurting. Everyone has a story. Not one of us has the same experience or circumstance, but we all have the common bond of pain. All of us.
I am overwhelmed with a passion to minister to others in their pain. I've asked God to lead me to the ones that are ready to jump in and re-open the wounds that are all scabbed over and have scarred up their lives.
Today, I attended a seminar. I went to one of the breakout sessions and the woman speaking http://dawnscottjones.posterous.com/
had my full attention. I have went to many woman's retreats and conferences and can usually walk away slightly encouraged. Today, I had to talk with Dawn and let her know just how much her message meant to me. She inspired me deeply to move into all that God has for me. One of the things she touched on was living transparently. I think all too often people in the church have a tendency to walk around with their heads up and masks on and talk about their perfect lives and perfect children and homes.
I've seen family after family in the church destroyed by the idea that its okay to pretend. The reason the family,marriage, pastor, deacon fell apart was because they were pretending and didn't feel comfortable enough with what was under the surface for others to see.
What if "the church" was truthful? What would that look like?
I'm in the process of trying to live truthfully... Excited and feeling liberated about what that looks like for me.